Pyromania (Except without the Fire).

It’s just regular mania. But I have the Pyromania song stuck in my head. Thanks Cascada.

Anyway, hey friends. Here we are today on the journey of mania. (I made that bold so you’d maybe read it in a deep, ominous voice).

In the last few weeks, I have seen the many sides of mania as I continue to battle my way through the world of bipolar disorder.

Fortunately for me, I only experience hypomania. Unfortunately for me, it still interferes with my life significantly.

Here’s how it goes:

Leading up to mania: 3-5 days of crippling depression

And then……. (AND NO AND THEN)

1-2 days of being so cranky and irritable and angry crying about everything.

7-10 days of feeling like a normal human

3-4 days of crippling anxiety and paranoia about people breaking into my house

We are currently in the mood swings phase. Minor frustrations send me out of control. I find myself running around my house at night because I have too much extra energy. Things that are not that funny send me into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

I find it incredibly hard to get out of bed in the morning, but I haven’t slept a full night in weeks. Given the opportunity, I stay in bed, in and out of naps, for most of the day.

As I engage in the war against this disease daily, I am grateful for my support system of friends and family who are always there for me. I am grateful that I have a job where I am allotted sick days to take when I need them. I am grateful for medication that does its best to help me function.

I have a monster inside of my brain and it is doing its damnedest to kill me. Well, Monster, I have bad news for you, sir. I am bigger than this. I am better than this. I am stronger than this. The war has already been won. Spoiler alert: the winner is me. (Also, Jesus. Jesus won the war for me.)

P.s. Someone PLEASE catch my Dude Where’s My Car? reference.

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2 thoughts on “Pyromania (Except without the Fire).”

  1. Dear monster in my best friends brain,

    You are not welcome there. Gtfo.

    You’re a meany,
    My best friend’s best friend

    P.S. to the owner of the brain. I so admire you’re open honesty. You are so brave and I am SO proud of you. Love you!

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